Things Can Be Worse

6:30 a.m.
The alarm gave a shrill sound... I stuck to my daily routine and put it on "snooze" . Yes indeed , that was my daily routine. Yesterday night , with the million and one thoughts revolving in my head , I had fallen asleep. Some months back , days and nights alike used to symbolize "life" to me in its most beautiful aspect. Every moment seemed special , every second worth living. There had been almost a magic of sorts. Work was good , family was great and friends - beyond compare. I used to feel as if I wanted to smile a million times , but I had no option but to overlap smiles... yes , one would begin before the other had a chance to end.

That was five months ago.
Today , life has changed ...
Or perhaps , my perception of it definitely has.

Today , as the alarm rang , there was no excitement about starting a new day. I dragged myself out of bed and got ready ... I did everything slowly and without vivacity and vigour. My only aim was to catch the bus on time.

Five minutes had passed since the alarm had woken me up. As I peeped into the living room , an unexpected sight caught my eye. There were keys strewn all around the room.
The key stand ,which was actually quite sturdy , had fallen down after fracturing its neck .

There had been two umbrellas which had been hanging onto the stand. One was now under the table , and the other some inches afar.

I quickly retreated to my bedroom.
The first thought that came to my mind was a "pigeon". I am terrified of them .
My heart started beating rapidly.
A pigeon is something I just do not know how to face. When confronted with this creation , my mind stops thinking completely. And the only signs of life in me are:
A heart which seems to beat 172 times a minute
A reflex action to choose the best possible hiding location.
A shrieking cry to whosoever is with me to make the pigeon leave "my territory"

Alas! Today I was all alone in that 2 BHK . And I was at my wits end. I had to get ready for office and leave. So I definitely had to leave the sanctuary of the bedroom which I had bolted from inside.

Mustering courage , I opened the door. I first checked the bathroom. No way was I going to use it if there was the slightest possibility of a pigeon lurking in some corner.

That done , I checked the other bedroom. With fearful eyes , I checked the tubelight and the attic. All seemed clear.

Slowly , I was done with the entire house. Once I was sure that there wasn't a pigeon anywhere around , taking God's name , I shut all the windows.

Yes , there was one thing which was bothering me. If I discovered a pigeon after closing the windows , I would surely have a heart attack. So , preparing for the worst and leaving the rest to the Almighty... I got ready for office.

The next test of courage will be in the evening , when I will be returning home, taking unwilling steps.

But I will leave that description for a later time. If there was any good thing in what happened this morning , it was that it distracted me from my humdrum existence. It made me realize that things could be worse.

A Rainbow Wish For U

I hope you find a rainbow
To brighten up ur day
Sprinkling love , cheer and laughter
To keep ur troubles at bay

I hope u find a rainbow
Every time u see the sky
Which lends wings to ur thoughts
And gives u an all time high

I hope u find a rainbow
In people u meet today
And listen to the best things ever
In everything they say

I hope u find a rainbow
In every task u do
In every question you ask
And in every answer too.

I hope you find a rainbow
In your heart of hearts today
One that is not time bound
And which shall brighten ur every single day.

I guess this angel could go on forever
About where all she hopes u find rainbows
But she doesn't want that u spank her
So she wisely ends this poetry and prose.

Sad

The phone rang somewhere but Anita was too preoccupied to give the ring a second thought. Her parents were fighting again.
"Anita , for God sake's pick up the phone." She could hear her dad bellow that one line... She knew that he was expecting an important phone call...
If only her college would start !!! Three months at home was a nightmare for sure. 18 years - life seemed to be too heavy to shoulder. Her dad had quit his job three months back. Her mom was an emotional wreck . For the umpteenth time , Anita felt the emptiness of being the only child.
By the time she had picked the handset , the phone stopped ringing. "Dad.." she began and then stopped. She could hear a messy verbal duel . She edged closer to her parents' room . She couldn't help overhearing them. As usual , they were fighting over something which seemed trivial to Anita. It was always the case. Her parents were poles apart. And after 25 years of marriage , they still never understood that the other never meant to hurt. The fight would start with something as small as a TV serial and then it would reach heights with each person criticising what the other had done 20 years back.

Misery... yes , that was the perfect expression of what Anita's heart shaped face mirrored at the moment. Her almond shaped eyes were welling up with tears that refused to leave the sanctuary of her eyes. And yet they spoke... they reflected the 100 things that were crossing her mind and heart.

She stood rooted to the spot as her mother started crying. She wanted to go inside and tell them to stop. But her feet refused to listen to her mind. Finally , as the door was thrown open by her dad , she quickly retreated to her room .

The palatial balcony attached to her room overlooked the center of her society and the balconies of the surrounding four buildings. As she stood in the balcony , she could feel the stare of Mrs. Sharma and her daughter , Nitu.
Had they heard everything!!! Her parents had been loud as usual. She shut her balcony door and threw herself on her bed. Why couldn't her parents be like other parents... why did they rake up the past and bitter memories!!!

Her heart felt as if it weighed more than she did.

She opened her diary. She was always afraid of writing the day's events in case the diary fell into the wrong hands. She just used to write the one word that described her mood every day.

20th July.
Dear Diary ,

SAD.

Love
Anita